Thursday, April 3, 2008

Finding the hidden erogenous zones

Curiosity, information, learning and experience are the best tools for perfecting your skills as a lover who can drive ladies wild. Still, these tools can only take you so far if you don’t try to acquire more knowledge by exploration and observation. It’s pretty strange to think about it, especially with all the porn floating around the Internet, but a lot of men have never taken a good look at a woman’s vagina. Never! All they’ve ever seen was a flash of pink among the pubic hairs. Small wonder that some men are clueless when it comes to finding a woman’s clitoris and know next to nothing about the erogenous zones.

To be fair, some men are indeed exceedingly shy. They feel lucky enough when they’re able to convince a lady to go to bed with them and are not in the mood for exploration and experimentation. Moreover, others think (and with good reason, too, as far as I know) that women might not share their curiosity, or may even take an attempt to expand one’s experience as proof of weirdness or inexperience (“Haven’t you seen a pussy before?” – can you answer “No” to such a question?). It takes a smooth talker to get out of this kind of situation and shy men are not known for being smooth talkers.

Then there’s the “I’m not going down there! It’s disgusting!” crowd. Guys, if you expect oral sex from your ladies, it’s only fair to bite the bullet and reciprocate. Besides, you shouldn’t judge the experience before you actually try it. Many men thought they were only going to do it out of fairness and were very surprised to find that it wasn’t half as bad as it had seemed. If your lady is careful about her hygiene and if you can keep an open mind about it, close-up exploration of your lady’s private parts may prove to be very good fun indeed.

Still other men are simply not interested in getting a good look. That’s their opinion and we should respect it even if many of us can’t agree with it. Others are really curious, but they think that getting on all fours and doing this is beneath them. It’s amazing that men would rather rely on rumors, hearsay and myths or simply expect information to fall into their laps. The “If I have to do all the work, then it’s not worth it” approach is not exactly the best way for those who want to sharpen their bedroom skills.

Whether lying in bed in order to share an intimate moment of peace or to get ready for a hot session of sex, bring the conversation around to masturbation. If the lady is doing it and not shy to talk about her solitary practices, then ask her to show you what she’s doing. Chances are she’s focusing on the clitoris and so you’ll get a good look not only at the pleasure center itself, but also at the proper stimulation technique. But remember to be gentle about this topic. If the lady is not inclined to share the details with you or is not into masturbation, change the topic.

Your main targets in that area are the clitoris and the perineum. These are the hidden erogenous zones that cannot be easily accessed, but which are very important to a student of the erotic arts. The clitoris is a highly sensitive area, which is responsible for most female orgasms because, unlike the penis, the clitoris has no other function except to give pleasure. Vaginal orgasms are significantly less common than clitoral orgasms and, for many women, not nearly as good. One trick that you may be able to use to your advantage, if you can pull it off, is to have the woman give you a guided tour of her private parts. You’d be amazed at what people are willing to discuss with enough coaxing.

If you have to find your own way around, then here’s the layout. The clitoris is located directly above the junction of the two inner lips (labia minora). If you use your fingers to gently separate the lips (you will want to keep your fingernails cut very short), the little rosebud or its hood should become apparent. The clitoris is either fully or partially covered by a hood; this aspect different from one woman to another. You can use your fingers or lips on the clitoris, but be very gentle. If the woman says the sensation is too intense to bear, pull back and don’t argue about it.

The perineum is an area you are most likely to have to learn about on your own. It is located between the lower junction of the labia minora and the anus. This area is also highly sensitive and, along with the anus, can be stimulated in order to obtain a pleasure response. And the response is not limited to women; men also enjoy a finger pressing on their perineum, especially during ejaculation. It is known to enhance pleasure so feel free to experiment with this part of your body.

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